“Then the Lord God said, ‘It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him’’’ (Gen. 2:18). We have already stated that God was the creator of marriage and not man, and the above verse bears testament to that fact. There can be no doubt, at least not for any professing Christian, that God was behind the idea and that it was created for love and companionship. But, too many people fail to understand that fully. The world views marriage as a convenience more than commitment. As long as everyone receives what they want from it, all is good, but when one or both feel that the other is not fulfilling their desires, they cast the other aside.
So what makes a good, happy marriage? Love, devotion, trust, faithfulness, companionship, perseverance, communication, and most importantly, God. If He is the center of your life and your marriage, things will go well – not perfectly, mind you, but well. In other words, the result of a God-fearing marriage will be happiness and contentment. There is nothing more fulfilling than a beautiful marriage where love, laughter, adventure, pain, grief, and loss can be shared and where all of those result in growth as a couple. My wife and I have a great relationship because we realize and thank God for His role in it. We believe that His will was instrumental in us meeting each other and that our lives improved significantly as a result. But that does not mean everything has been sunshine and roses: we have had our fair share of trials.
I believe there are certain things we do that have contributed to our happiness as a loving married couple. Firstly, we do not allow our tempers to control any situation in our marriage. It does not mean that we do not disagree from time to time, but it does mean that we never, never allow our ego to interfere with the facts. We have been married for 25 years this coming December, and not once have we ever said a bad word to each other. We have never cussed, cursed, or disparaged each other, and we absolutely never raise our hands in anger or frustration. We resolve our arguments with words and not actions, so we do not leave the house, sleep in another room, throw objects, or pout/sulk for days on end.
In fact, we have not once gone to bed in a bad mood. We make a concerted effort to resolve the issue within a reasonable timeframe. Moreover, we refuse to allow the bedroom to be a weapon of some kind, so we withhold nothing out of spite. We allow ourselves to laugh at each other and ourselves and don’t take jokes personally. I am kinda childish, so I am always dancing for her, pretending to be tough, or doing some other ridiculous thing to make her laugh, and she loves it. And we laugh a lot – really, a lot. We work, walk, cycle, kayak, raise our children/grandchildren, and go to church together. We are rarely apart and would not have it any other way. That does not mean that we do not take time off for ourselves or forsake our privacy, but we never consider our shared time a burden or penalty of some kind.
We don’t hide our phones or put passwords on them that the other one does not know about, and we consider being asked where we are a concern and not an accusation. Complimenting the opposite sex is by no means threatening to us because we understand the difference between “admire” and “desire.” Our trust in each other is implicit, and the difficulties of married life have not weakened but instead strengthened our love and commitment. We know something we wish every married couple would know – life is simply too short to waste years, months, weeks, or even days with wasted, senseless arguments. We understand and do all that we do because we know our Creator God and understand his plan for our marriage – as long as He is the main ingredient. And one last thing; whoever passes on from this earth first will not leave the other with any regrets – their memory will not be tainted by the silliness of wasted time spent in anger.